Hanging on a cloud

Wow...
Its been a while.
Since I last felt that way.

I'm hanging on this cloud.
Where everything is going well.
Where all seem to be perfect.
I'm still afraid to fall from so high.
I wish I knew how to avoid that...
How to stay up high and live happily ever after.

Does that amount of happiness should really be for only one.
Do I really deserve all of this.
I doubt sometimes.
I cry sometimes.
Cause I don't have a clue how I got here.
I wish I wouldn't doubt all of my actions.
I have to believe in myself and mostly in life.

I once said that my father showed me how to love and forgive life for all imperfection or problems. I still don't know how to apply that. How to trust and how to forgive.

I'm having a hard time believing in myself and it often gets in the way of my relationships.
Difference now is that I'm really happy with him. <3
I don't want to screw it all up.
Like before...

I grew up...
Damn, I should know how to make it work.
I'm so confused.
So.... lost.

Why do I always make simple thing so complicated.

Judith.................... JUST BE................ for God's sake.




..Yeah, I know... sorry... it was a party of mixed up words.
Its just how it came out of my head.



I must be out of my head.
It must be something I said.



Ohhhhhhhh.... I LOVE YOU, BABY <3