white flag. going up.

i think i might be giving up...
soon.

damn, i'm not used to that.
it is hard to understand and to talk about it.
i'm holding my breath.
don't know if i should keep on holding on though...
at least, maybe not to this or that.
this is not how i thought it would be.
wished it could be easier.
how can someone can not noticed. or care at all.
how is it possible not to show anything at all. any feelings. any.. whatever.
i'd go get the moon if i'd have too.
for this. i'd do the impossible.

i'm actually on the moon.
cause i thought thats where it would have brought me.
my mistake.
i'm stuck here now. unless i put on the white flag.
maybe then, somebody could come up and get me down.
holding me tight so i don't feel the gravity, the reality coming back fast to me.
i thought i could have hang another flag here.
maybe a happier one. who knows...
i might just be crazy too.. the air here is sometimes hard to find.
at least i'm closer to a beloved one.
from here i can see that stars are him, soul and body floating...
i'm sure from earth i could see in the sky how proud he is of me.

but do i really want to go down there.
i don't really want to put that white flag on..
cause i wish, hope and dream for true, strong happiness..

oh well....!
i'll be waiting a 'lil more.
just in case.............................................